I now have braces. Or a brace, perhaps I should say: it’s only on my lower jaw. Not for cosmetic reasons: though I am, of course, shockingly vain, my teeth are really pretty straight. But I’ve had annoying amounts of buildup behind my lower front teeth for years now, and even going to the dentist three times a year hasn’t been good enough. (As measured by the discomfort I feel during cleanings.) They suggested braces, and the teeth in question are a bit crowded together and don’t line up as straight as they could; in the past the dentists in my current office haven’t seemed to be excessively inclined to fleecing me (certainly loads better than my previous dentist), so I thought I’d give it a chance. Still, I don’t know if I’m being stupid here or not. Or maybe it will work but I’m getting most of the benefits just out of the slight shaving of the sides of the teeth that they just did – it’s much easier to floss already.

I decided to go with Invisalign – like I said, I’m shockingly vain. It popped right on; I pop it off for eating, but other than that I’m supposed to wear it all the time. Which seems okay – actually, the most annoying affect is that, because I’m brushing my teeth right after eating all of a sudden, it means that most of the day my mouth tastes like toothpaste. And I miss snacking. But I can deal, and it should only last about five months: I’ll have ten sets of molds for my teeth, changing them every two weeks, getting progressively straighter and straighter. Nice technology.

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